Posts tagged varric

15. Your favorite “Bro”

Alistair and Varric! Alistair’s jokes and the way he talks are awkward and cutely sarcastic, he’s a real goof and I just love the way he sometimes rushes his words. Varric on the other hand is just clever with his words and brilliant with his sarcasm. And he’s a dwarf without a beard a he’s good looking. Never would I have thought that to be even possible.

10. Favorite party banter

Take four.

Wynne: You must know that murder is wrong, I assume.
Zevran: I’m sorry… are you speaking to me?
Wynne: That is why you wish to leave your Crows. A crisis of conscience.
Zevran: Yes, that is exactly it.
Wynne: Joke if you wish, but I have the feeling that deep down you regret the life you have lived.
Zevran: It’s true. I regret it all.
Wynne: Must you be such a child? Are you incapable of a single, serious conversation?
Zevran: I know. I am terrible and it makes me sad. May I rest my head in your bosom? I wish to cry.
Wynne: You can cry well away from my bosom, I’m certain.
Zevran: Did I tell you I was an orphan? I never knew my mother.
Wynne: Egad. I give up.

Wynne: Have you changed your mind yet? Are you willing to speak seriously?
Zevran: Of your bosom? As you wish.
Wynne: (exasperated) No, I do not wish to speak of my bosom.
Zevran: But it is a marvelous bosom. I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?
Wynne: Stop… talking about my bosom.
Zevran: But I thought you wished to speak seriously?
Wynne: I do. I thought, however foolishly, that you might be willing to speak of your past.
Zevran: We could do that. There have been many bosoms in my past, though only few as fine as yours.
Wynne: Enough. I am ending this conversation.

Fenris: I thought all dwarves had beards. Where’s yours?
Varric: I misplaced it, along with my sense of dwarven pride and my gold-plated noble caste pin.
Fenris: I thought maybe it fell onto your chest.
Varric: Oh-ho! The broody elf tells a joke!
Fenris: I don’t brood.
Varric: Friend, if your brooding were any more impressive, women would swoon as you passed. They’d have broody babies in your honor.
Fenris: You’re a very odd dwarf.
Varric: And you thought I was joking about the pin.

Varric: So what do you do in that gigantic house all day?
Fenris: Dance, of course.
Varric: Really?
Fenris: I run from room to room, choreographing routines.
Varric: You’re actually joking. Alert the Chantry! They need to put this on the calendar!
Fenris: And you thought I was always serious.

I died at the last two ones. Fenris and Varric are golden.

And a little bonus. I didn’t know if I heard correctly when Gamlen bursted this one out:

So, you’re into elves, huh? I guess I don’t have to ask which one of you’s the girl.